Behind the book / Kate Parfet
Kate Parfet is a woman of many talents. A lifelong reader, writer, poet, and model, she is also the founder and creative director of Studio Parfet, where she helps her clients communicate through creativity. An unexpected endometriosis diagnosis led Kate on a research journey, where she quickly learned that the focus of endometriosis treatment is on societal expectations for fertility rather than women’s health. Believing that this needs to change, Kate’s new book Milking a Duck explores the female experience and stories of motherhood in all its forms.
Kate wears the Penny Jacket & Penny Skirt.
Your job is grounded in storytelling. Tell us about Studio Parfet and how you help brands tell their stories.
We are a small, focused team of marketers, passionate about communicating through creativity. We love helping brands tell their story by articulating their purpose, building a foundation for growth, and authentically connecting with their audience. Our approach is highly personalised, collaborative, and flexible.
Milking a duck is a poetry and art book – what story did you want to tell?
Milking a Duck is a representation of the female experience, and more specifically motherhood, recognizing all mother stories as both universal and singularly unique.
What prompted you to write it?
Shortly after my Endometriosis diagnosis, I learned I was not a candidate for egg freezing due to a low ovarian reserve. I began to research my fertility options. Throughout that process, I explored the ways in which politics, medicine, and society shape the motherhood experience, leading me to write this book.
What was your process when writing?
Writing comes most naturally to me as a form of art therapy. My first chapbook centred around loss and grief, but ultimately was about self forgiveness. This new book explores similar topics but in a different context. Loss of the ability to conceive naturally, grief over failed IVF cycles, and forgiveness for myself and my body. In writing this book, I realised just how many people – friends, family, and people I don’t know – are going through similar experiences. The development of the books became something of a shared cathartic exercise — both in terms of day-to-day experiences like going to the doctor and trying a new medication protocol, to the physical art I was creating. With Milking a Duck, the spectrum of motherhood experiences is vast and manifests in so many ways. The book became larger than me and my story.
Kate wears the Maddy Dress.
How did you choose your contributors and what brief did you give them?
Along the lines of mother stories being both universal and singularly unique, I invited a group of passionate friends to share a mother story in the form of a drawing, graphic, or photograph, bringing a new dimension to the text. Some of the book’s subject matter is heavy, so adding imagery allowed space for reflection.
Why ‘Milking a Duck’? What’s the story behind the title?
Milking a Duck is an idiom that references an impossible task, which is what my journey towards motherhood has felt like at times. I wanted to bring some levity to the situation as, although the journey has been trying, my partner Danny and I have worked hard to move through it with laughter. For that reason, a ridiculous idiom felt right.
What do you hope to achieve with the book?
I hope to spark conversations that look past one-size-fits-all motherhood narratives and start normalising reproductive health taboos like infertility, miscarriage, IVF, egg/sperm donation, surrogacy, the choice to have children later in life, and the choice to not have children.
What role do books play in your life and home?
It was fun to combine our collections when we moved in together nearly two years ago. Danny brought a ton of art, architecture, and design titles. I rounded things out with photography, poetry, and fiction. We’ve pledged to stop buying books for the moment, as we’re packed to the gills, but we keep breaking our own rule. We try to take a couple hours out of our weekend to read out on the patio, away from our phones. It’s a nice ritual in the sunshine.
Kate wears the Soho LS Top & Maddy Relxed Pant.
What are your earliest memories of books or reading and which books have shaped your life as a reader, writer & poet?
Roald Dahl blew my mind as a young child. Judy Blume was formative in giving me permission as a late-blooming adolescent to explore and ask questions about my changing body.
Is there a book, author or poet you think more people should know about?
I keep coming back to Bough Down, a collection of poetry and mixed media collage, by Karen Green. She chronicles the mourning of her late husband, David Foster Wallace, in such a relatable, honest way. Her normalisation of non-cookie-cutter emotions during the grieving process helped me to stop judging myself during my own experiences with loss.
BEHIND THE BOOK / KATE PARFET
Kate Parfet is a woman of many talents. A lifelong reader, writer, poet, and model, she is also the founder and creative director of Studio Parfet, where she helps her clients communicate through creativity. An unexpected endometriosis diagnosis led Kate on a research journey, where she quickly learned that the focus of endometriosis treatment is on societal expectations for fertility rather than women’s health. Believing that this needs to change, Kate’s new book Milking a Duck explores the female experience and stories of motherhood in all its forms.
Kate wears the Penny Jacket & Penny Skirt.
Your job is grounded in storytelling. Tell us about Studio Parfet and how you help brands tell their stories.
We are a small, focused team of marketers, passionate about communicating through creativity. We love helping brands tell their story by articulating their purpose, building a foundation for growth, and authentically connecting with their audience. Our approach is highly personalised, collaborative, and flexible.
Milking a duck is a poetry and art book – what story did you want to tell?
Milking a Duck is a representation of the female experience, and more specifically motherhood, recognizing all mother stories as both universal and singularly unique.
What prompted you to write it?
Shortly after my Endometriosis diagnosis, I learned I was not a candidate for egg freezing due to a low ovarian reserve. I began to research my fertility options. Throughout that process, I explored the ways in which politics, medicine, and society shape the motherhood experience, leading me to write this book.
What was your process when writing?
Writing comes most naturally to me as a form of art therapy. My first chapbook centred around loss and grief, but ultimately was about self forgiveness. This new book explores similar topics but in a different context. Loss of the ability to conceive naturally, grief over failed IVF cycles, and forgiveness for myself and my body. In writing this book, I realised just how many people – friends, family, and people I don’t know – are going through similar experiences. The development of the books became something of a shared cathartic exercise — both in terms of day-to-day experiences like going to the doctor and trying a new medication protocol, to the physical art I was creating. With Milking a Duck, the spectrum of motherhood experiences is vast and manifests in so many ways. The book became larger than me and my story.
Kate wears the Maddy Dress.
How did you choose your contributors and what brief did you give them?
Along the lines of mother stories being both universal and singularly unique, I invited a group of passionate friends to share a mother story in the form of a drawing, graphic, or photograph, bringing a new dimension to the text. Some of the book’s subject matter is heavy, so adding imagery allowed space for reflection.
Why ‘Milking a Duck’? What’s the story behind the title?
Milking a Duck is an idiom that references an impossible task, which is what my journey towards motherhood has felt like at times. I wanted to bring some levity to the situation as, although the journey has been trying, my partner Danny and I have worked hard to move through it with laughter. For that reason, a ridiculous idiom felt right.
What do you hope to achieve with the book?
I hope to spark conversations that look past one-size-fits-all motherhood narratives and start normalising reproductive health taboos like infertility, miscarriage, IVF, egg/sperm donation, surrogacy, the choice to have children later in life, and the choice to not have children.
What role do books play in your life and home?
It was fun to combine our collections when we moved in together nearly two years ago. Danny brought a ton of art, architecture, and design titles. I rounded things out with photography, poetry, and fiction. We’ve pledged to stop buying books for the moment, as we’re packed to the gills, but we keep breaking our own rule. We try to take a couple hours out of our weekend to read out on the patio, away from our phones. It’s a nice ritual in the sunshine.
Kate wears the Soho LS Top & Maddy Relxed Pant.
What are your earliest memories of books or reading and which books have shaped your life as a reader, writer & poet?
Roald Dahl blew my mind as a young child. Judy Blume was formative in giving me permission as a late-blooming adolescent to explore and ask questions about my changing body.
Is there a book, author or poet you think more people should know about?
I keep coming back to Bough Down, a collection of poetry and mixed media collage, by Karen Green. She chronicles the mourning of her late husband, David Foster Wallace, in such a relatable, honest way. Her normalisation of non-cookie-cutter emotions during the grieving process helped me to stop judging myself during my own experiences with loss.